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We just returned from our first trip on this Metastate journey. 5,000 miles, ten cities, and 20 conversations later, we are still in a state of disbelief. We sat down with those who shaped our lives – a childhood mentor, the founder of our elementary school, a favorite teacher, a best friend, a college roommate, our mothers. From sage advice to voice lessons to tearful moments of recognition, this trip has been unforgettable.

After years of silence and compromise, we embark on this new path to reconnect with those who touched us and to rediscover forgotten parts of ourselves. During a time that most would call a “midlife crisis” or “breakdown,” we both woke back up to life. We’re moving outside our comfort zone, the stale yet familiar place we’ve called home, and taking that first step to rewrite our dreams.

The other night we were discussing the meaning of metastate and something finally clicked.

We are always in metastate no matter if we’re at a job we hate or chasing the dream we think we want. We’re always a work in progress even after we’ve reached some milestone like owning a house, having a baby or landing our dream job.

We’re forever and always in process and maybe that is why so many of us are frustrated. In the midst of searching for answers we forget that life is mostly this big question – this exploration.

We started to see life as perpetual metastate
origin    journey    discovery    origin    journey    discovery

and our own stories
connection    independence    freedom    meaning    connection

and  emotional journeys
joy    strength    sorrow    joy    strength    sorrow    joy

Each step that came before prepares us for the next thing. We feel joy which gives us the freedom to become strong and that strength helps us bear the sorrow, and so on. Maybe seeing life in this way, as a continuous cycle, helps us get through the hard times because we see it as a natural point in the process and we can find hope in knowing that joy, discovery, meaning and connection will make their way around to us again.

Some of our friends recently shared with us that they believe in our project and feel they are in metastate. They understand what it is, and we think we finally do too.

Your friends in change,

Maryn & Darree


  1. This way of thinking really resonates with me. My father sometimes describes life in a way that I now begin to understand more and more. He says: “Life is like peeling an onion. When you’ve removed one layer, you think you’re done with that one. But sometimes, you encounter the same layer multile times, and each time, you have to work trough it to get to the next one.” I try to remember this when I feel like I haven’t made any progress in my life or when it seems that I keep encountering the same issues: that they may not be the exact same layer as before, and that to get there, I have had to work through several other layers, which is progress. Indeed, seeing these processes as something cyclical gives me more strength and calmth to just be in the moment, whether it is a good one or a bad one, because it will pass (and then return, and then pass…).

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a lovely metaphor, your father is a wise man. Some of us are taught to think of life as this straight line that keeps going up and up and anytime we feel like we’re not “moving forward” we think we’re failing, but life simply doesn’t work that way. It’s more about moving around in these cycles and discovering new things or rediscovering old things as we go. Coming full circle, we arrive at moments of discovery and achievement, but they inevitably turn into new questions and endeavors, and we go round again.

      Life is a journey not a destination and as we peel away the layers, getting down to that raw and shiny part, we are truly engaged in it. Thank you for sharing your insight with us. We hope to continue the conversation as we cycle through!


      • I realise as I read your comment that not moving forward isn’t all bad. I guess it is in the light of the hectic way of life that has most of us brainwashed by the idea that everything has to keep going, evolve, and move forward 24/7. I think that standing still sometimes is part of the process instead of an interruption of it, and even more, that it sometimes is essential to the process and the progress to just be for a while before moving forward.

        I am really intrigued by the things I read here, I seem to have come across them at exactly the right moment in my life (such is life!) and I am curious as to what will be next (both here and for me).


      • Absolutely. Sometimes we need those reflective periods to sort out what came before and figure out our next step. In our industrial-minded culture we value progress and profit, but moving blindly ahead in pursuit of these things often leads to excess and dissatisfaction. As a society there is no better time to step back and take a look at our systems, our motivations, our way of living and ask if it is really the best way and what might be changed.

        We are so happy to connect with you here. Sounds like we have a lot to learn from each other…


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